CAUTION: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE A BOY. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE IT.
Back in the day, stables were practically crawling with boys. Only boys. Believe it or not, there was a period in history where, in the barns, it was raining men - and now we seem to have a drought. Since when has horseback riding become a "girly" sport, and why isn't anyone manning up and doing it? Here's my theories on the Boy Extinction of 2013... 
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Theory One: The Girls Intimidated The Boys Away
See that picture? That's how female riders were looked at in the early twentieth century. We were thought of as fragile, quiet creatures that weren't rough enough to handle an opinionated animal. Because of that, 1900s-era barns always had at least one ride that was slow, easy, and completely brainwashed into behaving like a robot. Today, we call those "beginner horses". Back then, they were known as "lady's horses".

And then... boom! Women started gaining all kinds of power. We were voting, we were getting jobs, we were starting businesses, and we were riding horses - men's horses. For the first time, women were unstoppable.


Then what happened? The boys seemed to run away. I guess it's because they're scared of our talent. How would a guy feel if a girl beat him at a show? Not fantastic. Guys are fiercely competitive like that. If another dude beats them then hey, he was a better rider. But if a girl wins? Oh, that's just embarrassing.


Moral of this story? Girls can do anything guys can do... and we do it sidesaddle.

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Theory Two: It's Only Cool to Play Football
If you want to be popular and you happen to be of the male gender, it doesn't hurt to play football or basketball. Horse back riding isn't a school sport, so if a guy does a good job, he can't make varsity or go to State. The closest thing he can do is travel to Var City and perform at the State Fair. Because there isn't a school spirit surrounding horse riding, guys usually pick sports involving a ball, birdie, or puck before a pony. It's a shame, really. Many of the top riders are men.

PicturePfffff! Who needs boys...
Theory Three: They're Stupid Because They're Missing Out on Some Awesome Girls
If you were a guy and you were looking for a girl, why not look at a riding stable? There are plenty of chicks - and they're the good kind too. There are no fashionistas who can't stand a broken nail or a little mud on their pants, because we deal with that every day. There are no drama queens that are constantly screaming or singing, because when you work around animals, you've got to have a certain calmness to yourself. 

If the boys don't see that the best girls are all in one place, then they obviously don't deserve us anyway. Just in case you've already got a boy, though, check out our opinions at Yay or Neigh: Bringing Boyfriends to the Barn.

If we can't bring the boys to the barn, then we don't need them. We've got plenty of boys between our stallions and geldings, and who needs boys anyway? Stable relationships are for horses.
                                                                                                                  - Emma
 


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    The stable's got almost everything: horses, girls, a million random cats... but it's seriously lacking in the boy department.